Cruise - Travolta - The Ultimate Pants Off, Dance Off Contest

So, after yesterday's sub par blog, where I babbled incessant nonsense about heath care, I decided I was going to scour the internet for all the facts and come back today with my educated, well-informed take on Obama's plan and the senate's decision to declare it constitutional. But, lucky for you, TomKat filed for divorce, so it'll have to wait. Thank God!

Yep, after five years and one child (Suri) Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes called it quits yesterday, stating irreconcilable differences. What married couple doesn't have those? When I heard about the split, it didn't surprise me, but it did get me thinking a little about how perfect their little union started and ended. The rumor that I've always heard was that Tom Cruise is gay and Katie signed a marriage contract to work as his beard after ticket sales declined and his career took a minor dip. It seems very strange that after five years, the typical length of any Hollywood contract, their marriage dissolves. Sad, yes, but the good news is that this means Katie is now a free agent. And, better yet, so is Tom.

You all know what I'm thinking, right? You don't? Well, let me get out my blank canvas and brushes to paint a glorious picture for you. Check that, a FAB-U-LOUS picture. Imagine if you will, the most powerful gay couple the world has ever known. Forget Elton and David, Neil and David, or even Ellen and Porshe. What if Tom literally reached out to help Mr. John Travolta with his recent penchant for strong male masseurs? Imagine if those two got together and blossomed a romance that would undoubtedly shock the world. While the chances of that actually happening is admittedly slim, I'd love to see two middle aged movie stars find love together.

Speaking of things I'd love to see happen. One of my Facebook friends recently posted something described as a Pants Off, Dance Off Contest between some friends. While there were no specific details, and I'm not even entirely sure what a Pants Off, Dance Off Contest actually is, I certainly would show up to watch if I was invited. I mean, ever since I read that, I can't help but say Pants Off, Dance Off over and over in my head. It's the most catchy name for a contest every. Am I right?

It's so catchy in fact that I'm convinced I could probably make a million dollars if I actually set up a real Pants Off, Dance Off Contest and sent out invitations to 1 million men, charging just $1 for entry. I mean, what man could resist paying a buck to see a Pants Off, Dance Off Contest. It's genius!!! Okay, quick, get my party planner on the phone right away. Wait, what's that you say. You mean I don't have a party planner or anywhere to host a million party people. Oh, the shame...:(

Okay, we'll have to take it to the streets. I can see the headlines in the Seattle Times now: Pants Off, Dance Off Contest takes over downtown streets. Tom Cruise and John Travolta led a group of 1 million men down the streets of Seattle yesterday to celebrate their union as the greatest gay power couple in the world. The only question that remains is who would be the winner -- Cruise or Travolta? I guess we'll have to wait and see. Hey, it could happen...:)