After watching the 2012 summer Olympics, I can't help but look at some of these athletes and think, I could do that. I mean, give me six months of good training with the right diet, coaching and vitamins, and I could compete with those guys. Sure, right? Then reality hits and you realize those athletes are physically gifted. Personally, I think everyone has a gift or two they can share with the world throughout their lifetime. You just have to figure out what it is and don't be afraid to fail while trying new things.
As a kid, I grew up watching legendary Seattle Supersonics point guard Gary Payton drop dimes all over Key Arena. When I watched him on the court, he looked like a dwarf on TV in comparison to NBA's big men. To see The Glove driving to the hoop against Shaq, he looked like a kid, but in person he's 6' 4". In person these dwarfish-looking point guards are massive men. I still remember meeting Sonics shooting guard Ricky Pierce in the SeaTac airport. Pierce never looked like a big guy on TV, but in person he towered over the average man and packed more muscle than I ever imagined. Yes, those guys are gifted physically.
But just the physical gift isn't enough. You have to put in work. This year I remember listening to UFC's mixed martial arts fighter Tito Ortiz on a radio show saying something about how he's a fighter from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed. When some guy comes up to him at a bar and thinks he can take him on, he said that guy is out of his mind because he doesn't live fighting the way Ortiz does. He probably works a 9-5, makes it to the gym three days a week and fights with his buddies on the weekends, but that doesn't mean he has what it takes to beat up an MMA fighter who trains professionally full time to kick ass.
But don't git me wrong, being gifted and putting in the work isn't only for athletes. Obviously, not everyone is athletically gifted. Some people are musically gifted. Take Maroon 5 front man Adam Levine for example. I recently watched him mentor a competitor on the show The Voice. When I heard the contestant struggle to sing the song and then Adam nailed it on the first try, it's obvious why he's the star. Some might say one's gift comes from having good genes. You know, if your mom an dad were great athletes, then you'll be a great athlete. If you mom and dad can sing, then you can sing. Sure, that helps, but it's not all genetics. A few years back there was another competition show that paired children of music stars against each other. Kenny Loggins son Crosby Loggins won the MTV show Rock The Cradle in 2008. When they came out and sang Kenny's hit "I'm Alright" together, it was obvious that young Crosby had gotten some of his dad's legendary talent, but he wasn't gifted vocally like Kenny. He couldn't carry the song and make it a hit the way Kenny did.
For me, it was like listening to J-Lo sing a duet with Marc Anthony. Sure, J-Lo had the chops needed to sing well enough to put together a hook for a great dance song, but put her on stage with Marc and there's no comparison about who received the vocal gift. Luckily, she has other gifts. That little pib squeak Marc Anthony can sure sing!
Some people are lucky enough to receive multiple gifts. Take Wonder Years star Danica McKeller (aka.Winnie Cooper). Anyone my age remembers Danica. Who didn't have a crush on the doe eyed Winnie Cooper back in the 90s? I thought Fred Savage was the luckiest kid in the world to have a shot at kissing Winnie. Since then, Winnie has grown up. She's not only still beautiful and physically gifted with the body to turn heads, she's also studied mathematics a graduated summa cum laude from UCLA in 1998. Since then she has written several books about math.
I think the problem most people have with finding their gift is that we all hold ourselves to a higher standard. In fact, the highest standard. If we jump in a pool and don't automatically swim like Olympian Michael Phelps, then we're no good and we're a failure. In my world, I'm constantly comparing myself to others. Some of my sports photos are pretty great and some people say I have a gift at capturing a moment, but I always look at them and know they're not quite as good as the guy who shoots for the Herald. Some of my portrait work has turned out pretty awesome, but it doesn't compare to the guys who are published in magazines.
I think we have to realize there are differing levels of success in any venture we explore. If you feel you have a gift, then you do. Use it for all it's worth and be confident that the results will continue improving the more you do it. When I do a portrait photo shoot these days, I tell the model that it's not just me creating the art. Together we create something and allowing that piece of art to be seen and judged by others is a challenge. It's not easy for the model and it's not easy for me either. But I'm not afraid to try. I'm not afraid to hold myself to that higher standard.
Yesterday I watched a 20 year old on the Today Show talk about some sort of computer program he's working with to create art and how when people try new things, they automatically hold themselves to this higher standard. We expect greatness right away. If I pick up a guitar and can't play like Carlos Santana, then I'm a failure. His suggestion was to fail quick and move on. Not sure I exactly agree with what he was saying, but it does have its merits. We shouldn't be afraid to try new things, search for our gifts and grow from each comparison we can make to greatness. Some gifts are obvious from the time you're born. Michael Phelps was destined to swim for Olympics golds, but even he will face the challenge of discovering his next great gift. Even he will face comparisons to the higher standard we face every day. Hopefully we all can accept that next challenge, improve on our gifts and celebrate in our comparisons to greatness.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Failure isn't scary...It's just another opportunity for success
When I wake up in the morning, drink my coffee and enjoy my daily visit to my Facebook page, I always notice posts about failure. It seems that everyone is afraid to fail these days. We're consumed with failure, yet we all do it. Any attempt at anything is really just another opportunity for failure. To fear failing seems silly. We'd never try anything if we let our fear of failing control us.
One post today mentioned failures by Michael Jordan, The Beatles, Eminem, Steve Jobs and Walt Disney; some of the most successful people of the last century. Without failure, there would never be success. In reality, our lives are all filled with countless small failures, but that shouldn't prevent us from trying new things. Fresh and new challenges are what make our lives richer and more fulfilling.
Don't fear failing. Instead, embrace each potential failure as a new opportunity for success...:)
One post today mentioned failures by Michael Jordan, The Beatles, Eminem, Steve Jobs and Walt Disney; some of the most successful people of the last century. Without failure, there would never be success. In reality, our lives are all filled with countless small failures, but that shouldn't prevent us from trying new things. Fresh and new challenges are what make our lives richer and more fulfilling.
Don't fear failing. Instead, embrace each potential failure as a new opportunity for success...:)
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Seems like a nice day to try and be nice, eh?
If nice guys finish last, then why is it so important for us to feel like we're nice? I mean, it seems like everyone wants to be perceived as a nice person, but very few of us go out of our way to do the things needed to be rewarded with the nice descriptor.
Dictionary.com's first definition describes nice as: pleasing; agreeable; delightful: a nice visit. Personally, I usually try to be pleasing with those I encounter, but I'm not always agreeable, and I'm certainly not always delightful. Come to think of it, I'm pretty much just 1/3 nice most of the time. And if you catch me in a bad mood, my ability to be pleasing goes out the window and I'm pretty much not nice at all.
Maybe that's why when I got into a recent discussion about who were the nicest men in my circle of friends, I didn't find myself at the top of many "lists". I guess it's to be expected, but that doesn't mean I feel any better about straddling that bottom rung of my friend's niceness lists.
Come to think of it, maybe I really am nice in the grand scheme of niceness, but I'm just surrounded by some really nice friends. Ya, that sounds about right.
I guess being nice is like anything else, you have to work at it to be really great. We have to learn to practice all three stages of niceness and eventually we'll work our way up those lists to the top positions. Well, just add niceness to the long list of things I aspire to be. If we didn't have hopes, dreams and aspirations, we'd have nothing.
When it comes to niceness, let's all agree to take it one day at a time. For today, let's forget about living life and prospering. And let's just try to be nice...:) You know, pleasing, agreeing and delighting. Something tells me it's gonna be a long day.
Dictionary.com's first definition describes nice as: pleasing; agreeable; delightful: a nice visit. Personally, I usually try to be pleasing with those I encounter, but I'm not always agreeable, and I'm certainly not always delightful. Come to think of it, I'm pretty much just 1/3 nice most of the time. And if you catch me in a bad mood, my ability to be pleasing goes out the window and I'm pretty much not nice at all.
Maybe that's why when I got into a recent discussion about who were the nicest men in my circle of friends, I didn't find myself at the top of many "lists". I guess it's to be expected, but that doesn't mean I feel any better about straddling that bottom rung of my friend's niceness lists.
Come to think of it, maybe I really am nice in the grand scheme of niceness, but I'm just surrounded by some really nice friends. Ya, that sounds about right.
I guess being nice is like anything else, you have to work at it to be really great. We have to learn to practice all three stages of niceness and eventually we'll work our way up those lists to the top positions. Well, just add niceness to the long list of things I aspire to be. If we didn't have hopes, dreams and aspirations, we'd have nothing.
When it comes to niceness, let's all agree to take it one day at a time. For today, let's forget about living life and prospering. And let's just try to be nice...:) You know, pleasing, agreeing and delighting. Something tells me it's gonna be a long day.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Perception creates reality -- Live in it to the fullest
It seems that life is a lot about perception these days. We perceive people to be a certain way and hope our friends, family and loved ones live up to our perceptions. When they don't, we often end up confused. It throws us for a loop and our initial perceptions often change. It seems perceptions and reality constantly differ and we're all too often left wondering why we had our initial thoughts in the first place.
Dictionary.com defines perception as: the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.
I like to think I'm pretty in touch with my senses, but as soon as one isn't firing on all cylinders, my perception of people and situations get all mixed up. I imagine that's the same for lots of folks. If you have a cold and your sense of smell isn't working, you might walk into a situation and not be able to "smell what the Rock is cookin'". Duane Johnson would then commence to lay down and old-fashioned smack down on your candy ass and it's all because you weren't fully in touch with your senses.
If you think about it, we often take our five senses for granted. Of course vision, hearing, taste, smell and touch are important to our existence as human beings, but they also create the experiences we have in our lives, so keeping them sharp is paramount.
But how often do we really exercise our senses. No, we take them for granted. We expect that each morning when we get up, we'll be able to reach over, touch that alarm clock and turn that snooze button on for another five minutes of zzzs. It's only when our body fails us that our senses come to mind. When we wake up with a cold and that morning coffee doesn't taste as good, we complain.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that our initial perceptions create the enviornment we live in every day. Our senses can provide us with valuable information about people, places and things that enter our lives. So listen to those senses, live in each moment and don't be scared if your perception turns out to differ from what it seems. It makes life more interesting.
Dictionary.com defines perception as: the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.
I like to think I'm pretty in touch with my senses, but as soon as one isn't firing on all cylinders, my perception of people and situations get all mixed up. I imagine that's the same for lots of folks. If you have a cold and your sense of smell isn't working, you might walk into a situation and not be able to "smell what the Rock is cookin'". Duane Johnson would then commence to lay down and old-fashioned smack down on your candy ass and it's all because you weren't fully in touch with your senses.
If you think about it, we often take our five senses for granted. Of course vision, hearing, taste, smell and touch are important to our existence as human beings, but they also create the experiences we have in our lives, so keeping them sharp is paramount.
But how often do we really exercise our senses. No, we take them for granted. We expect that each morning when we get up, we'll be able to reach over, touch that alarm clock and turn that snooze button on for another five minutes of zzzs. It's only when our body fails us that our senses come to mind. When we wake up with a cold and that morning coffee doesn't taste as good, we complain.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that our initial perceptions create the enviornment we live in every day. Our senses can provide us with valuable information about people, places and things that enter our lives. So listen to those senses, live in each moment and don't be scared if your perception turns out to differ from what it seems. It makes life more interesting.
Friday, August 3, 2012
It's all about the Benjimans baby -- moments vs. things
I keep seeing posts on Facebook reminding me that life should be about collecting moments and not things, but as much as I love that idea, I think I just really like things. I mean, don't we all? We all want nice clothes, nice cars, nice houses, nice boats, nice watches, nice electronics, nice furniture. Hell, new words are still being invented just so that we can be completely "swagged" out from head to toe with the finest new things. While my swag factor is undoubtedly sub par, I think society's emphasis on things over moments is nothing new.
I mean, who really does anything without being rewarded these days? Well, at least without the potential for reward. People want to work, get paid and buy stuff. You know, collect things. Just to have them. Just to look at. Just to show off to the next guy. I recently had a conversation with an old high school buddy and this topic came up. He mentioned that he had recently become an activist of sorts and his life was becoming about more than just "things". Of course, I was able to read between the lines. What he was "really" saying is that he he recently separated and his wife took half his things. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
P.Diddy/Puff Daddy got it all right when he sang that it's All About The Benjimans. We all want to be ballers and shot callers. We collect those dead presidents from the time we're born until the time we die. It's just our way of life. Western culture creates that expectation and if we're not rich, then we're not successful. Who wants to be rich in memories, when we can have stacks of benjimans lining our wallets? You can't go out to Anthony's waterfront restaurant and pay with memories, but you can order a hell of a steak dinner to eat with a tremendous view if your pockets are over flowin' with greenbacks.
Maybe it's just the cynic in me coming out. Maybe I do selfless acts all the time and my mind is not dreamin' about collecting dinero, but something tells me my fascination with things will haunt me until my dying days. When the reaper comes to take me away, the under keeper won't be there to collect my memories. He'll collect the last of my coin and maybe ask if there's an estate sale because he too probably wants a shot at buying the rest of my things. Hey, to the victor goes the spoils and he who dies with the most toys, wins.
I mean, who really does anything without being rewarded these days? Well, at least without the potential for reward. People want to work, get paid and buy stuff. You know, collect things. Just to have them. Just to look at. Just to show off to the next guy. I recently had a conversation with an old high school buddy and this topic came up. He mentioned that he had recently become an activist of sorts and his life was becoming about more than just "things". Of course, I was able to read between the lines. What he was "really" saying is that he he recently separated and his wife took half his things. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
P.Diddy/Puff Daddy got it all right when he sang that it's All About The Benjimans. We all want to be ballers and shot callers. We collect those dead presidents from the time we're born until the time we die. It's just our way of life. Western culture creates that expectation and if we're not rich, then we're not successful. Who wants to be rich in memories, when we can have stacks of benjimans lining our wallets? You can't go out to Anthony's waterfront restaurant and pay with memories, but you can order a hell of a steak dinner to eat with a tremendous view if your pockets are over flowin' with greenbacks.
Maybe it's just the cynic in me coming out. Maybe I do selfless acts all the time and my mind is not dreamin' about collecting dinero, but something tells me my fascination with things will haunt me until my dying days. When the reaper comes to take me away, the under keeper won't be there to collect my memories. He'll collect the last of my coin and maybe ask if there's an estate sale because he too probably wants a shot at buying the rest of my things. Hey, to the victor goes the spoils and he who dies with the most toys, wins.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Teach me to give a shit; School me in the advanced course
It seems that so much of life is just pretending like you give a shit. You know, when your boss tells you how important something is, you're supposed to give a shit about working hard for his bottom line. When your partner's new friends tell you all about their exciting lives, you're supposed to look at them, interject a poignant "is that right?" and a heartfelt "oh really?" to show you truly care. That's just the way it's supposed to be. Well, it seems I have a hard time with that.
After a certain amount of time, I just get tired of listening to my boss drone on and on about why I should work harder and more efficiently for their benefit. And I can only stand listening to the new friend's stories for so long before my eyes glaze over and I just don't give a shit anymore. I'm sure that's probably why my jobs never really worked out and I'm currently self employed. But I find myself wondering how all you guys do it. Day in and day out, you sit there in your little cubicles pretending to give a shit so that you get your piddly paycheck every two weeks your obligatory two weeks of vacation every year.
We all know everything can be taught. If that's the case, then I think there definitely needs to be a college course on pretending to give a shit, and I undoubtedly need to take it. In fact, there should also be an advanced course on maintaining your give-a-shit attitude. Sign me up for that one as well. Hell, I think what I need is to declare my major in giving a shit and get my PHD to make it in this world. Yes, my life would be much different if only I could learn to give a shit.
I just don't care enough about certain things. Don't get me wrong, I do have the ability to feel emotion. When Rudy finally gets on the field in the classic movie and makes that tackle on the quarterback, my heart swells with pride for the underdog and my eyes weep with joy for the victor. But I don't really give a shit when it comes to what happened to Rudy after college and whether he's still with his college sweetheart. It appears that there's a very short window of time on my ability to give a shit.
My guess is that some day I'll figure it out. Some day it'll all make sense to me. I'll have an amazing epiphany that truly rocks my soul to the core. The light will hit me in the face and my brain will wake up, all my senses will work as one, and I will realize the importance of giving a shit. Of course, by then I'll probably be too old to REALLY give a shit. Well, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Either way, the results are pretty much the same. We're doomed. How's that for shot full of pessimism this morning. Don't be afraid, shoot up!
After a certain amount of time, I just get tired of listening to my boss drone on and on about why I should work harder and more efficiently for their benefit. And I can only stand listening to the new friend's stories for so long before my eyes glaze over and I just don't give a shit anymore. I'm sure that's probably why my jobs never really worked out and I'm currently self employed. But I find myself wondering how all you guys do it. Day in and day out, you sit there in your little cubicles pretending to give a shit so that you get your piddly paycheck every two weeks your obligatory two weeks of vacation every year.
We all know everything can be taught. If that's the case, then I think there definitely needs to be a college course on pretending to give a shit, and I undoubtedly need to take it. In fact, there should also be an advanced course on maintaining your give-a-shit attitude. Sign me up for that one as well. Hell, I think what I need is to declare my major in giving a shit and get my PHD to make it in this world. Yes, my life would be much different if only I could learn to give a shit.
I just don't care enough about certain things. Don't get me wrong, I do have the ability to feel emotion. When Rudy finally gets on the field in the classic movie and makes that tackle on the quarterback, my heart swells with pride for the underdog and my eyes weep with joy for the victor. But I don't really give a shit when it comes to what happened to Rudy after college and whether he's still with his college sweetheart. It appears that there's a very short window of time on my ability to give a shit.
My guess is that some day I'll figure it out. Some day it'll all make sense to me. I'll have an amazing epiphany that truly rocks my soul to the core. The light will hit me in the face and my brain will wake up, all my senses will work as one, and I will realize the importance of giving a shit. Of course, by then I'll probably be too old to REALLY give a shit. Well, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Either way, the results are pretty much the same. We're doomed. How's that for shot full of pessimism this morning. Don't be afraid, shoot up!
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