"There are no regrets in life, just lessons" ... Jennifer Aniston
If that's the case, I'd be the king of learning life lessons. I'd learn lessons left and right, upside down and inside out. My lesson book would be thick and I'd be the smartest lesson learner around. Come on, let's just admit that there are such things as regrets Jenn. I mean, you once dated Vince Vaughn, right?
I recently talked with a friend about the concept of serial monogamy. You know, the type of person who has no problem being fully committed to someone, but once the honeymoon stage is over, they're out like A-Rod at a optional drug screening. Personally, I love the idea of honeymooning. Who doesn't have fond memories of that "honeymoon" stage in a relationship? You remember, right? That time when the sex was plentiful and good, you were still exploring each other, you didn't take each other for granted and you didn't know every annoying nuance of your partner's personality. That being said, I can't really see doing it again and again.
Okay, maybe that's not entirely true. I could see honeymooning with certain women. I mean, what man doesn't see a dime here and there and start to fantasize about having the opportunity to be with additional women? But I guess that's why it's called fantasy. The reality is never as you imagined. I recently watched a show on polygamy and I have to say it doesn't look all that appealing. Instead of listening to one woman belly ache, this dude was bombarded by three broads. Just the thought of it gives me a headache. At least with one partner it's not that tough to duck out and escape for some "me" time. Can you imagine having three women wondering where you are and what you're up to? Three women calling your cell and sending you to the store to pick up groceries on a Saturday afternoon at Costco. Oh the nightmare!!! Just imagine how much longer I'd be stuck in line trying to make three women happy instead of one.
I guess monogamy has its place in our world. I'm still trying to figure out how it benefits mine, but I'm sure there's a reason most of us men succumb to it. I mean, it can't just be because some woman told us to, can it? And if that's it, then maybe it was all in the way they said it. I've come to realize a lot of life comes down to what you say. And sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it. When it comes to the optimist versus pessimist scenario, women can be very optimistic about their futures. Is the glass half full or half empty. Mine has been empty for years, but some day I'm gonna figure out how to top that thing off.
Maybe Jenn Aniston can write a book and teach me that lesson. How to Fill Your Glass by Jennifer Aniston. That sounds easy enough, right? Some ghostwriter could write it, put her name on it and make her another million. Please tell me Jenn is good for more than just one cute haircut and far too many mediocre romantic comedies. I guess if I'm gonna rely on celebrity advice to run my world, I might as well go with Jenny from the block. At least J-Lo is sure to look good walking away after the honeymoon is over. Look out Casper. Miss Lopez might need another honeymoon soon.
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