It seems that so much of life is just pretending like you give a shit. You know, when your boss tells you how important something is, you're supposed to give a shit about working hard for his bottom line. When your partner's new friends tell you all about their exciting lives, you're supposed to look at them, interject a poignant "is that right?" and a heartfelt "oh really?" to show you truly care. That's just the way it's supposed to be. Well, it seems I have a hard time with that.
After a certain amount of time, I just get tired of listening to my boss drone on and on about why I should work harder and more efficiently for their benefit. And I can only stand listening to the new friend's stories for so long before my eyes glaze over and I just don't give a shit anymore. I'm sure that's probably why my jobs never really worked out and I'm currently self employed. But I find myself wondering how all you guys do it. Day in and day out, you sit there in your little cubicles pretending to give a shit so that you get your piddly paycheck every two weeks your obligatory two weeks of vacation every year.
We all know everything can be taught. If that's the case, then I think there definitely needs to be a college course on pretending to give a shit, and I undoubtedly need to take it. In fact, there should also be an advanced course on maintaining your give-a-shit attitude. Sign me up for that one as well. Hell, I think what I need is to declare my major in giving a shit and get my PHD to make it in this world. Yes, my life would be much different if only I could learn to give a shit.
I just don't care enough about certain things. Don't get me wrong, I do have the ability to feel emotion. When Rudy finally gets on the field in the classic movie and makes that tackle on the quarterback, my heart swells with pride for the underdog and my eyes weep with joy for the victor. But I don't really give a shit when it comes to what happened to Rudy after college and whether he's still with his college sweetheart. It appears that there's a very short window of time on my ability to give a shit.
My guess is that some day I'll figure it out. Some day it'll all make sense to me. I'll have an amazing epiphany that truly rocks my soul to the core. The light will hit me in the face and my brain will wake up, all my senses will work as one, and I will realize the importance of giving a shit. Of course, by then I'll probably be too old to REALLY give a shit. Well, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Either way, the results are pretty much the same. We're doomed. How's that for shot full of pessimism this morning. Don't be afraid, shoot up!
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