Sometimes the media cracks me up. Take the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce for example. The media can turn anything into a story. If you haven't followed it, I guess the latest news is that Katie had a "secret" disposable phone that she made the phone calls to her lawyer with and eventually called Tom to surprise him with the divorce news.
I mean, it's not like Katie is the next Sherlock Holmes or something. Well, at least I don't think there's a connection. They do share the last name. If you ask me, it's not a movie-worthy plot at all, but if you ask the media, it's the next big block buster. They write about it like it should be on the big screen -- How Katie Got Her Divorce. I guess if Tyler Perry can keep putting out movies dressed in drag as Madia, then Katie could possibly get a movie about her divorce.
It seems to me that it doesn't really take a genius to go pick up a disposable phone, does it? I mean, if drug dealers selling crack on the corner can figure it out, then surely a multi-million dollar celebrity can hire some schlub to pick one up for her. Maybe I just don't understand the strong hand of Tom Cruise.
After all, it's not like Katie is new to divorces. Her father is a divorce lawyer for goodness sake. With her daddy in her corner, and the best lawyers that Tom's money can buy secretly corresponding with her, it's no surprise to me that she got what she wanted and got it over and done with fast. Lesson learned Katie: I guess the Hollywood fantasy is never quite as good as the real story.
When I was younger, I wanted to fall in love and marry Alyssa Milano. We were both teenagers growing up together. Tony and Angela ran her world during the 80s on Who's the Boss and I never missed it. We lost touch a little during the 90s when she played a witch on Charmed, but I couldn't help but tune in now and then to watch my crush do her thang. Now, almost three decades later, all she does is bum me out with those super sad Unisef commercials where she begs for my change. Ya, I guess fairy tales don't always end up like you imagined.
If only Katie used her magnifying glass on Tom. Hey, now there's a great idea for a movie. Katie could star as a sexy, recently divorced 21st century detective who magnifies Hollywood's A-list celebrities to find all their flaws before her clients ruin their lives by marrying these egomanics. Hey, don't laugh! I bet it would at least fill the seats as much as Madia's last adventure.
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